Well, I got tired of working before the sun was high
The sunshine made my head feel hot, it was an honest try
So, I unhitched my mule and saddled up my mare
And rode down to the grocery to see what's doing there

Farming folks from miles around were gathered at the store
Each one saying that he'd never left his plow so soon before
While speaking of the mystery of God's unfolding will
Old Man Johnson brought a jug of whiskey from his still

Now, most of us had never drunk so early in the day
But, this day being special, we got drunk anyway
We got so drunk and crazy that we all did agree
To meet that very night where the fiddler was to be

The night was clear as crystal, the moon was full and bright
Nothing looked familiar in that pale unearthly light
There was no wind, no calling birds, in fact it was so still
I scarcely drew a breath 'till I reached the Laurel Hill

I'll tell you of our party and how it did commence
When us four jolly drunk boys got on the floor to dance
The fiddler being willin', his arm a bein' strong
He played "The Crippled Kingfisher" about four hours long

I seen the morning star boys, I guess we danced enough
We'll spend another hour, paying cash for cuff
We'll go back to our plows, we'll whistle and we'll sing
We never shall be guilty of another such a thing

Come all ye newsy woman, who gather news about
Don't tell no tales upon us; we're bad enough without
Don't tell no tales upon us, nor kick up any fuss
You've been guilty of the same thing, perhaps a whole lot worse